an open letter to transit riders.
hail and well met my sardinical friends, I bring words of wisdom from my head to yours regarding how the fuck you should act on the C-trains.
Rule 1: move the fuck in!
you will not be stuck in the middle of the train when we get downtown... people WANT you off as much as you want to get off, they will move. So, be free my friends move into the middle of the car.
Rule 2: stand SIDEWAYS when you are in the middle(more like a 1a addon, but my blog, MY RULES!)
when one stands shoulder to shoulder with someone in the middle of the train, they take up 2 times as much room as they would front to back. people complain when i tell them this that it is because there is no where to hang on, but people are stupid and miss the fact that EVERY SEAT has a handle, the poles up top and spaced every few seats are NOT the only thing to hang on to... besides, if you need to hang on, THERES ROOM FOR MORE PEOPLE!
Rule 3: When someone more needy of a seat than you gets on, MOVE.
every day, i see pregnant women, old people, kids, various invalids and other people who can't or SHOULDN'T be standing being forced to endure the rigors of the train tossing them to and fro because some punk bitch disrespectful shit is sitting reading some trashy book and pretending that they don't see. were you not beaten enough as a child to understand basics or human kindness?
Rule 4: Backpacks, and bags
if you have a backpack on, you are taking up the space that one other person could be comfortable with, take the sack off, hold it on the floor in front of you, or between your legs, also, if you carry a bag, please note, chances are you are hitting someone with it. don't be a shit, same rules apply, leading me into...
Rule 5: Large objects, bikes, Skateboards, carboard cutouts of Ohura
there are specific times of the day when it is ok to take your bike on the train... usually after the rush hour. this means DO NOT BRING YOUR BIKE ON THE TRAIN WHEN I AM ON IT. your tires are filthy, your handle bars are pokey, ride it you lazy fuck! same goes with other big shit on the train, if you didn't buy a ticket for it and it takes up space that a person should, expect it not to make the trip with you.
Rule 6: PAY FOR A TICKET
Every day, I pay for tickets in both directions, i have seen the C-train cops 5 times in the past 4 years, but I respect that these things need money to run, regardless of the giant budget they are given (and the lack of improvements i see, like ever.. or when the train can't go because the switches are frozen, or something stupid), if you live one stop outside of the free fare zone and don't pay, you are STEALING. you are a scummy bastard who prolly beat cats as a kid, and next will steal a car and after that, kill hundreds, SEEK HELP... or pay the 2.50 you cheap fuck, you prolly pissed twice that away on your first starbucks of the day.
Rule 7: MUSIC CHOICE IS PERSONAL!
I have my ipod playing all the time, but YOU CANNOT HEAR IT, however, I can hear yours OVER mine. When i can tell that you are listening to neil sedaka over my neil diamond, something is wrong... and not just with the music choices, you are messing with my Shilo time... turn it down or get off and bug some other people.
there are many more rules, but these are the ones i care the most about.... maybe is hould send this to the paper to publish... except i swear... "get the {expletive deleted} outta my face" doesn't sound as good as "get the goshdarnedu outta my face"...
wonder if the metro will publish swear words, or better yet, i'll print off like a thousand copies and give em to the metro paper handerouters to give out..
go with god my friends.
MOpitz
Rule 1: move the fuck in!
you will not be stuck in the middle of the train when we get downtown... people WANT you off as much as you want to get off, they will move. So, be free my friends move into the middle of the car.
Rule 2: stand SIDEWAYS when you are in the middle(more like a 1a addon, but my blog, MY RULES!)
when one stands shoulder to shoulder with someone in the middle of the train, they take up 2 times as much room as they would front to back. people complain when i tell them this that it is because there is no where to hang on, but people are stupid and miss the fact that EVERY SEAT has a handle, the poles up top and spaced every few seats are NOT the only thing to hang on to... besides, if you need to hang on, THERES ROOM FOR MORE PEOPLE!
Rule 3: When someone more needy of a seat than you gets on, MOVE.
every day, i see pregnant women, old people, kids, various invalids and other people who can't or SHOULDN'T be standing being forced to endure the rigors of the train tossing them to and fro because some punk bitch disrespectful shit is sitting reading some trashy book and pretending that they don't see. were you not beaten enough as a child to understand basics or human kindness?
Rule 4: Backpacks, and bags
if you have a backpack on, you are taking up the space that one other person could be comfortable with, take the sack off, hold it on the floor in front of you, or between your legs, also, if you carry a bag, please note, chances are you are hitting someone with it. don't be a shit, same rules apply, leading me into...
Rule 5: Large objects, bikes, Skateboards, carboard cutouts of Ohura
there are specific times of the day when it is ok to take your bike on the train... usually after the rush hour. this means DO NOT BRING YOUR BIKE ON THE TRAIN WHEN I AM ON IT. your tires are filthy, your handle bars are pokey, ride it you lazy fuck! same goes with other big shit on the train, if you didn't buy a ticket for it and it takes up space that a person should, expect it not to make the trip with you.
Rule 6: PAY FOR A TICKET
Every day, I pay for tickets in both directions, i have seen the C-train cops 5 times in the past 4 years, but I respect that these things need money to run, regardless of the giant budget they are given (and the lack of improvements i see, like ever.. or when the train can't go because the switches are frozen, or something stupid), if you live one stop outside of the free fare zone and don't pay, you are STEALING. you are a scummy bastard who prolly beat cats as a kid, and next will steal a car and after that, kill hundreds, SEEK HELP... or pay the 2.50 you cheap fuck, you prolly pissed twice that away on your first starbucks of the day.
Rule 7: MUSIC CHOICE IS PERSONAL!
I have my ipod playing all the time, but YOU CANNOT HEAR IT, however, I can hear yours OVER mine. When i can tell that you are listening to neil sedaka over my neil diamond, something is wrong... and not just with the music choices, you are messing with my Shilo time... turn it down or get off and bug some other people.
there are many more rules, but these are the ones i care the most about.... maybe is hould send this to the paper to publish... except i swear... "get the {expletive deleted} outta my face" doesn't sound as good as "get the goshdarnedu outta my face"...
wonder if the metro will publish swear words, or better yet, i'll print off like a thousand copies and give em to the metro paper handerouters to give out..
go with god my friends.
MOpitz
posted by Lord Sethos at 11:48 PM
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