What my life is about

Sorry, Grateful.

2011-04-20T12:48:00.000-06:00

so, who out there really still blogs? does this format exist as a valid medium with all the tweets, status updates and video bloggers out there? well, it has been dead for me for some time.... but since i was in here updating my SPAM settings, I felt i should say a howdee doo to yoo...

I hope you missed me, and if you want to go back and read some of my historical art pieces, feel free...

quick update? ok, well I was recently featured in a production of Stephen Sondheim's "Putting it Together". and let me tell you, as nice as the music sounds, it's a sonofabitch to learn. I mean I am good, I know that, but this music was humbling, the timing was ridiculous (now, granted, my timing SUCKS as it is), the harmonies were painful and then, THEN, the director tried to add choreo... (ok, it was 1 box step...) singing, moving and keeping timing is hard. on the plus side, i got to work with some amazing people, 1 of which i really admired for their talent, so awesome!

really not much else going down, other than the good old universe trying to get me to come back from the dark side by offering me a SECOND free trip via a radio contest... last year they sent us to Vegas, this year, teh same station (rebranded) is sending us all inclusively to Mexcio... bwa ha ha!!!!! "Mucho Coronoa por favor"

well i am done lunch, so i need to get back to work.

nos vemos en las tiras cómicas, tirones, as they say.

señor Mike

I wanna talk Karma

2009-12-27T20:59:00.005-07:00

hey folks, glad to see you back.

I have a thought... would people be less assy if they knew every karmic flub they do would result in an equal flub done unto them?

On the other hand, would people come accross more inherently good if they were positive good was on it's way for their actions?

i think this idea has merit, after all it was born from an asshole like me's mind... I am not always the best judge on how to react to situations, and my knee jerk reaction is to stab the jerks in the throat who cross me, yeah I know it's wrong, and i don't (often) act on it, but the impulse is there...
also, you may find this extra jerky, however, if someone does me good, I believe it is expected of them.. I am not in the "generation" that is supposed to feel entitled to the world oweing them just for the fact they are alive.... however, in my mind, it is true, the world owes me for all the crap it has given me in my life.

here is my plan.

We need a global campaign, a way to police the world....the Karma Korps... (shut up, it's not *that* cheesy)

if an ass walking down the streets is seen spitting, he is then spat on. simple eye for an eye, to a lesser degree.
if someone holds the door for someone else, a hug is bestowed on that person.

there will be people who will will take things too far and spit back again, granted, but those people will be dealt with by higher authorities in the land, be they secret police, KGB, state troopers or dream police... who knows...

you might say, people will just do good to get good... buut really, thats the intent and whats wrong with a little tit for tat? not too much i'd say... if the world being a better place is the end goal, in this case, the ends definately justify the means.

*hearts* kittens.
Mike.

Rick Mercer Stole from my blog!

2009-12-01T20:07:00.004-07:00

ok, let me start by saying.. of course I have no proof, nor do i profess that the great Rick Mercer would stoop to petty wordtheft from someone as uncommited-to-my-writing as I, however, Tonights episode of RMR feature, of Mr. Mercer's Rant bore strange resemblences to my previous posts.

in particular:

http://lordsethos.blogspot.com/2007/06/just-wanna-bitch-bit.html

where i let the world know that they suck for various reasons...
Rick seemed to paraphrase my people likening an escalator ride to a happy fun park ride.. with his theatrical embeleshments...

and secondly,

http://lordsethos.blogspot.com/2008/03/open-letter-to-transit-riders.html

Where Rick took my notices to transit riders and likened that to elevator riders...

Was he stealing? is one of my dozens of readers Rick himself? or do we simply share ideals and views of right vs wrong? is this a bridge between the east coast and alberta? Do we all really share that much in common??

Well, Mr Mercer, some great hackers once said, information should be free, as long as it's interesting.. feel free to grab some of my other stuff, perhaps the vending machine story, it was one of my more inspired tales..

Thank you
and Happy Tuesday!

ok, so feb to aug.. not too bad i guess...

2009-10-02T20:55:00.002-06:00

well how are you all this fine cold eve? me? I am well, thanks for asking!

so, when last we spoke, i learned you a bit about Jenny Craig... well home girl did me good... i lost a total of 33 lbs while on the program and continued on to another 7. since then i have been working out, trimming down and just generally *being* healthy.

Sophie is (really as of last night) walking great now.. she runs from one end of the living room to the other... unless babyfirst tv is on, then she just sits ther mesmorised by harry the bunny.

She has also taken to teasing Pal with food... she's so mean.. she'll let him get to lick whatever she is eating, then laughs, yanks it away and eats it herself... gross perhaps, but as a responsible parent that i am, i say "no" then laugh because it's damn funny.

work is good.. am doing stuff that i love.... and i work with a bunch of great people... hell, they PAY ME to be a geek.. how freaking awesome is that? i make stuff that people use, i actually make a difference... i am in a really good place with work.

next big event is Disneyland in november... sweet! the last step was getting our passports (soph's is adorable, the rest look like really bad mugshots....) Sophies took 8 days, the rest took 6... great work Canadas goverment.

ok, well Sophie is now stacking her wetwipes box on her diaper box and standing/balancing on them, so i should go...

fare well and be happy my friends.

need to blog... too many changes...

2009-02-25T21:18:00.003-07:00

So here I am, this one feels obligitory, but i'm ok with that...

lots of changes going around with work, life, home and everything really

life?
working on my new years resolutions... biggest one is weight loss.
I started Jenny Craig on feb 16th... it was hard at first until i got the rhythym... it's only been a week and a bit, but I can already feel my energy levels rising.
I know what you are thinking, "Mike, yer a dude!" yeah.. I am... they really need to change Jenny Craigs name... to something like Stone Rockford.. or something manly, they'd attract way more guys.
they aren't bad... the food is reasonably good tasting and, as of my last weigh-in at just 5 days in, I was 4.6lbs down... just over 10% to my target. I am at 1700 calories a day now... hell the Taco bell big box meal was 1300 calories alone without the drink... stopping that alone was bound to make a difference.

home?
Well kinda home... we got a new mini-van... got away from our 10 year old death trap minivan... and now this new one's color is the same name I have decided my derek zoolanderesque look will be Magnesium... (really it's a silvery-blue-green, but magnesium sounds dope...er)

work...?
ah work.
well things are changing... bitter sweet for the most part. I feel like i lost a friend. Now, she's still around, but.. different... exciting new adventures for her... but i'm no longer as big a part of that story :(
however,
I am thrilled for the opportunity that another friend has recieved... she has worked hard to get where she is, she was not given many breaks... she earned her keep, swept them away with her talent and charisma and is has now set a course for adventure... like some boat... of love... or something...

everything?
well... this one, i feel kinda dorky about, but, I am an obama-maniac... I fill with pride when i see photos of obama, how happy he is, how much he represents and how big a difference adding a bit of contrast to the world will make... think back just 50 years ago... way to go USA... you raised your awesomeness scale a helluva lot this time around... another 100+ decisions like that, you'll be in league with us Cannucks.

Thanks for listening/reading... I hope all is well with everything you are and do.

slightly skinnier Mike

I was made for eating meat

2009-01-24T09:00:00.007-07:00

I was randomly surfing around and I found an article that really... well it pissed me off!

It was a person who chose to live a vegetarian lifestyle bitching about those around her that did not make that choice.

I am by no means an idiot, I do see the signs... so let me point and counter-point myself.

reasons people should genetically be vegetarians:

point 1:we are slow
Comparatively, when it comes to chasing down our prey, we are no cheatahs or Ben Johnsons.. (well.. he is... )

counterpoint 1:we have technology to compensate
Over the millenia (or centuries, if you choose to be creationalist...) we have advanced from chasing our prey and snapping their necks to hucking rocks, to stabbing with sticks to spears to bows to guns to suvs. WE outsmarted them... why is it our fault that they could not keep up technologically and armor up themseleves?

point 2: we lack claws or talons like most predators

counterpoint 2: we work too hard
We work too hard in life to be able to maintain claws or talons. blogging is hella hard enough with my little bitten nails as it is. genetically, we still have the ability, if we let our nails grow, they will harden... but who wants to get jiggy with a guy with 3" hard yellow nails? also see CP1

point 3: our relatively poor eyesight / hearing / smell
your standard predators have an interesting combination of rods and cones that allow better lowlight vision, and if that doesn't work, the other senses compensate with cool things like echolocation and scent tracking.

counterpoint 3: flashlights, nightvision tech, binoculars, mapping technology
hmm.. i seem to be in some sort of a groove here...

point 4:our long digestive tract makes it easier for food to decay in our bodies

counterpoint 4:our bodies have evolved to make the long journey more efficient
this was a good point, shorter is better to prevent decay, however, shorter also wastes alot more... the stuff that comes out of us is 85% waste (birds are 25% waste, bears are 65% waste, deer are 15% waste!)

finally, teeth...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/ks2bitesize/science/activities/teeth_eating_fs.shtml

In closing, eating meat or not, its a choice, like who to buy a newspaper from or what to wear... you make your own rules, accept the choices other people make because they are as evolved as you and are capable of deciding for themselves.

Thank you and good day!

i said good day!
M

I resolve....

2008-12-29T20:28:00.003-07:00

As we draw 2008 to a close, I am forced to look back and see what a whirlwind it has been.

1: on new years day of 2008, we found out we were expecting...
This one was a huge one... we have been trying for 10 years to have our second child... Christmas 2007 Kaeden asked for a brother or sister... and a Wii... he got it all... lucky bugger.

2: I lost my office.
GRRR! embrace change, I did.. and i smiled... but inside, I cried a small cry

3:I learned how awesome SQL really is....
like... it... really... is.

4: My vasectomy...
(my... LEAST favorite) done by a doctor who, if you put your fingers over his picture of his moustache, resembles a certain Austrian evil bastardo... check it out... www.vasman.com (yeah, i know, just like on Seinfeld...)

my resolutions for 2009:
1: lose some fat...
I mean, I am quite hot, but i could stand to lose 30lbs worth of pot belly

2: be more active
see 1

3: be waaaaaaay more social
anyone that knows me at all, knows that i generally dislike people.. everyone starts on my bad side and has to earn their way to the good books... I need to break that habit.

4: be more charitable
this past holiday season, I don't know what came over me... I just saw ideas and ran with them and raised money for people in need... who knew that being nice would make you feel... well nice.

5: blog more.
I am truly sorry for not letting you into my head as much as you deserve... forgive me.

Mike
happy new year

2008-12-06T19:32:00.004-07:00

a fun thing to do on a saturday night when the family is out looking at lights... is hunt the internet jungle for cool and entertaining things:

custom lego figures and accessories (like weapons!)http://brickarms.com/galleries/solidgold.aspx
i linked this right to the solid gold customs this guy had made... pretty fly.

if you wanna spend a relaxing nite peeing yourself slightly from laughing like a moron, check out the vids on http://www.totallycrap.com/.
my personal faves are:
man tries to be the basketball, and fails
man vs cactus
Teamwork Skit
Weightlifter Gets A Nutshot (note the flowered blankie covering the bench)
caution, that site has some NSFW stuff... but i only go there for the funny vids... really....

Then from College humour
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1889137
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1892776
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1892585
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1890198
and the funniest, professor Wikipedia:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1830262

and finally, because i am a dork who likes a frontin' beat...
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=FNXe_3gVz6I&eurl=http://www.totallycrap.com/magazine/sinper_twins_does_computer_friends/

thats enough for now... they are home...
peace out my brothas and sistas

Mike has poked you - a serious moment.

2008-11-24T22:03:00.003-07:00

in this age of poking random acquaintances or elementary bullies and crushes, I once found myself drowning in memories.

my memories sucked.

I grew up a lad with obvious social problems. I don't blame anyone, back then, it wasn't cool to be diagnosed with anything, or to even test for that matter... but there has always been something different about me.

I have always been a social outcast... however, of the losers, I was quite the coolest... thats something, right?

In recent years, with Kaedens diagnosis of Aspergers syndrome, I am starting to understand me better. I see so many things in him that I was, it's sad knowing that he will face the lonlieness and awkwardness that i did and do.

But, there is hope, my son.... while i may not be the social titan i dream of being, I have it good, a beautiful girl on my arm, a wonderful family and a life that is generally fulfilling. I have learned to work on my eccentricities. I have learned to cope with how I am, and have learned to surround myself with people who are not the plasticy ones from my childhood. I have grown to understand what the normals are all about.

That being said... I am not there yet... nor do i think i will ever be... like Jane Goodall and her hairy friends, I much prefer to observe... normals fascinate me... watching an interaction between a plastic and a silverback alpha male is so scripted, and beautiful.

Back to FBing... I forgot how big of a loser some people were... like this one guy, I latched onto him because he let me borrow his atari games, and later NES games... when i was 14, he was awesome... we were both morons, and we both made each other laugh... when i found him, I relived those fun times... however, he has not grown up... you think i have mental issues, try interacting with a 33 year old who's humor and attitude has not evolved since grade 5... ugh!

Then there was the girls.. oh ladies... one on one, you would talk to me and we would actually have conversations... but when anyone else was around.. you'd push me away... ah the multifaceted pubesent female... how you intrigued me...

About a year ago, i took it upon myself to actually start choosing my friends, rather than add everyone i ever shared a class with, or were in the same club as, or whatever... I decided to be the cool guy and dump the people who were not an advancement in my social standing, or someone i wanted to be associated with. I got to be the cool guy that chose his circle.

If you are on my list, you obviously had some positive effect on my life.
I thank you
M.
*poke*

life, the universe and everything

2008-11-09T09:06:00.003-07:00

Yesterday, we went hunting for our christmas lights to put up... found one box where we knew they would be, the other box, we swore we bought (before last year, but never put them up mainly due to my lazy ass...) could not be found.. we checked everywhere, basement, garage, laundryroom, bathroom, everywhere... then Laurie remembered the boxes of random crap in Sophies soon to be (my EX computer) room... and we found em.

so, up the ladder i went

well... lovelies... my lights are up, although i need some more... and i don't think they sell these ones anymore... we have some old glass ones, but they are red and green only, and Laurie says "we make fun of people who do that, lets get the same kind instead..." grah

I also took this opportunity to replace the screen in the living room that i took out to install our air conditioner that i got for free on Kijiji :)

speaking of freebies... check out these sites....

http://www.buydehydratedwater.com/free.htm
get yourself a free dehydrated water sample...
-- be sure to check out the FAQs so you know what you are getting into :)

also, not free, but quite good if you ever want a fresh start, have bad credit, don't want to move to yemen to avoid a crazy ex(or create a crazy ex by dumping their ass), or you are a snitch and the mob ordered a hit on you....
http://www.anewidentity.com/

next time gadget... next time
(rrrroooooowrowwr...)
MadMike

Well.. I feel special

2008-10-24T21:43:00.005-06:00

Tonite, I watched a very telling tale of the journey a mind can take...
it was called "Special"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479162/

click here for the poster

http://www.cinematical.com/media/2008/10/specialpostermain1.jpg

Basically, while not being a very good movie in general, there were some key similarities to my life that I felt quite uncomfortable seeing in this tale.

Les (Michael Rappaport) leads a very unimportant life and signs up for a clinical trial of a new anti depressent. He experiences some side effects that, to him, are incredible, but to others, painfully sad.

I can relate to les in many ways, unremarkable day to day life, the need for grander things, and the depressing fact that in my mind, I am far cooler than I am in reality.

While i can't say I was entertained by this flick, I certainly learned something...

Life is what you make of it, reality does not have to be real, and no matter how many times the asshole in the car hits you, if you are not dead, just get up.

Rx
Mike

Excitment in my neighborhood.

2008-10-21T20:04:00.004-06:00

Kidney stones.. they hurt... 2 days of suffering climaxing into fiery drama...

day one...
I get horrible stomache pain, http://www.webmd.com/ says it could be:

constipation. nope pooped good earlier today...
hernia. nope, heaviest thing i have been lifting is my fat ass outta my cosy chair...
trauma. nope... no football to the groin
kidney stones. agree... circle gets the square! I have had them 3 times in the past 5 years... and people who get them are 50% more likely to get them again in the next 10 years.

First time i got em.. it sucked... knocked me out for 2 days, i was in the hospital...
second time, i forced my way through my work day with lotsa pain killers
third time, knocked me out for a day, no pain killers
4th time... i worked through day one... day two murdered me.

Between day 1 and day two:
Middle of the night, I am dreaming dreams of sugarplums and cornsyrup when Laur(rudely!) wakes me up saying there's a doin's afoot...

i tumble outta bed and stumble to the window, looking out at a mass of ambulances, fire trucks and charred remains of 2 homes... apparently, at around midnight ish (we are now at 240am) a guy was walking home from his gfs house and saw a fire between the two houses... he then ran to the doors of the houses, banged like crazy to warn the families inside.. because of this guys great thinking, no one, not even the family pets, were hurt! great work!

so we watch this for about an hour, the adrenelin wears off and i collapse back into bed...

Then, i am in such awful pain, I can't get up to go to work... sucks... but now i know, seeing as the pain has traveled through my midsection, its gotta be more stones.

then at approximately 515pm, i give birth to 2 beautiful baby stones.. no bigger than cracked pepper... but they do suck...

fine and good... then we go out for dinner at the mall (mmm chilli dog) after not eating for 2 days properly... and upon our return, I find a "police alert" on our doorknob.
i figure it was about the suspected arson, but nope, when i called to say we slept through it, the constable advised me that there was a break-in in the area sometime between 9am and 2pm today...right when all the news trucks, police, fire investigators, gawkers and clean up folks were around... and we were here during that time... so I advised the officer what i saw that i can't talk about....

so... does anyone out there in reader land feel like putting up:
1 gorgeous broad
1 balding fat guy... who's crosseyed... but still hot... in a vaudville kinda way
1 10 year old with aspergers syndrome
1 gorgeous baby girl with tons of hair who is just starting to smile and sleeps through the night
1 old bitchy cat who hates people and hides when the door bell rings
1 dumb dog who is... well dumb
1 cute "kitten"
1 somewhat recluse rabbit with talons

let me know, cus all this random crap is making me nervous.

Election night in Canada

2008-10-14T19:28:00.002-06:00

do do do do dooooooooo... do da do do do dooooooooo..

oh wait... they lost the hockey night song... (new one, awesome... i love the bagpipes...)

So, big day in election times... you have the weakest liberal in decades running, you have some chick who could kick your ass, you have a weirdo hippy and a less lovable adult male version of small wonder... all on a full moon in Calgary here...

did you vote?

did it count?

The system here in canada is messed up, and a tough one to deal with.. you don't get to put your X on Obama or McCain or Francine, you vote for your local person and if the party you vote for wins, great...

However, What if you are a Liberal, but the local liberal candidate eats babies? do you vote for PC and hope all the other liberals in all the other ridings don't eat babies? do you vote for the baby eater just in case they lose it by one seat? Who wants EITHER of those on their concience??

my idea... vote for who you think is least likely to win and make it someone elses choice... imagine the joy when your local Communist gets the results in and they find they have reached their lifetime goal of DOUBLE DIGITS!!! Now thats something i want on my concience, making the commies happy, bringing joy to the joyless.

Good luck all you hardly worth my time writing about, however i did, party leaders.

Thank god for :liberal media:
Mue

Colons are not just punctuation...

2008-08-02T21:32:00.003-06:00

so... if you, like me, find yourself and your bowels unfun, go get some of these freebies...

1:http://www.dcmobilitysolutions.com/Magic_Bullet.htm

2:http://www.thewoodsgroup.com/colon5day.htm

3:http://www.under-tec.com/survey.php

4:http://www.punjabpaper.com/sample.htm

5:http://www.tena.ca/english/default.asp

this should keep you, your colon and all those around you happy (ok, the TENA is more for other stuff, but it'll work... :) )

ahoy mateys

2008-07-13T08:54:00.002-06:00

one of my most favorite thing is ships... I love everything about them, from the old clippers to modern cruise ships. they are marvels of technology, gigantic floating communities that take years to build but only hours to destroy.

the destroy part is where this post comes in.

I love to play on google maps, looking at things from high above, its cool to see places i have never been before from 10k feet up... but one thing i found recently is a blog about visual shipwrecks... i was in heaven!

http://bbs.keyhole.com/ubb/showthreaded.php/Cat/0/Number/468469/an/page/page/0/vc/1

check it out if you want to see how these once majestic crafts are ravaged by the seas they once called home.

here's hopin you keep yer poopdeck clean for all the seamen...
and seawomen...
and seadogs...

wow, get bigger, stronger, and more masculine junk ... mail...

2008-07-12T22:05:00.003-06:00

i decided to turn the junk filter off on one of my email boxes... as an experiment,

did you know that people all around the world are trying to escape their country with giant amounts of money and are willing to give you a bunch of it for accepting it for them?? ITS TRUE!!!

did you know that if your penis is too small you can actually be despised by women?

women, did you know that if your breasts are too small, you might as well just get a sex change, no man will want to touch you anyways!

lots of cool things i had no idea about until i turned off that filter that has been keeping the truth from me!

bastards...

now, the coolest site i found was this one:

http://www.natureday.com/faq/free_breast_enlargement.html

They are offering a free 3 month sample supply of their breast enlargement cream ... all you have to do is send them a bare breasted "before" pic! amazing, expose yourself on the internet for cream to make yer boobs bigger and then do it again!

not sure these folks are on the up and up mind you... kinda like this guy:

seems legit enough...

but the best part of all of that site was the awesome testimonials... including pictures...

not the womens mind you, an internet boob is a internet boob these days.. however, the MALE testimonials really piqued my interest...

what man would not want a pair of his own hairy little jubblies? i know what your thinking, but really... think about it... you'd save 40bux a month on internet, 30 bux a month on playboy tv, whatever your budget is for porn mags, and not to mention all those VODs i know you rent...

...you'd be a zillionaire in no time!

all you gotta do is send a before pic*

r3gar>z h0\/33z

Mike

*Q: How does the picture have to look? Does it have to include my face?A: Preferably a naked chest, and your face is optional.
Q: Can I be wearing clothes during the picture?A: It would be wonderful if everyone could see just how well our products work on the bare chest. We are no longer accepting pictures with a bra or clothes on.

wow... i must ROCK HARD!

2008-05-27T20:37:00.003-06:00

been a while, i know... i work for a living... plus neverwinter needs me when i don't work...

So today, I was looking for gore vids on youtube (keyword MTV Scarred Hand... search it!) when the site asked me to verify my age by logging in... cus thats secure :) so i did... and i saw this taunting little red bar saying "Your account has been permanantly disabled"

FUCK!

so this is all due to my awesome chairaoke vids... apparently, me sitting in front of my computer belting out such awesome classics as "Ice Ice Baby" and "YMCA" is copyright infringement...

Awright, i can see that... i must be awesomer than i thought!

to date: these are the vids i have made:

a 'Camelot' monolog
an awesome production vid of Copa Cabana... with me playing Rico, Tony AND Lola...
Devil went down to Georgia
Ice Ice Baby
a terrifying "I'm Too Sexy"
I will Survive
King of the Road
Garth Brooks' Rodeo
Sold
monolog from Army of Darkness
Starry Starry night - my fave
Superman in full spandex
What she doin now - the first warning i got
Wonderwall
YMCA
Caddyshack monolog
various blog entries
I like monkeys
and my awesome colaboration with ASL Consuela:a 90's Man

I am sad to see them go, I really worked slightly on each one, putting a smidgen of love into each note and a squeeze of dorkiness into all of them!

if anyone knows a site i can host these monsterpieces on that let you get away with "Tribute" vids, please let me know..

talk atcha soon luvies!

M.i.k.e.
(Man I Kick Everything!)

sort of an adendum - quickie

2008-03-28T22:12:00.002-06:00

and another thing

ESCALATORS ARE NOT HAPPY FUN RIDES!!!!!!

they are speed assists to help you get from one place to the other faster, not something where an animated creature sings its a small world after all... so in closing, when you get on an escalator, don't stop walking....

the end

bed time

M. job

an open letter to transit riders.

2008-03-08T23:48:00.002-07:00

hail and well met my sardinical friends, I bring words of wisdom from my head to yours regarding how the fuck you should act on the C-trains.

Rule 1: move the fuck in!
you will not be stuck in the middle of the train when we get downtown... people WANT you off as much as you want to get off, they will move. So, be free my friends move into the middle of the car.

Rule 2: stand SIDEWAYS when you are in the middle(more like a 1a addon, but my blog, MY RULES!)
when one stands shoulder to shoulder with someone in the middle of the train, they take up 2 times as much room as they would front to back. people complain when i tell them this that it is because there is no where to hang on, but people are stupid and miss the fact that EVERY SEAT has a handle, the poles up top and spaced every few seats are NOT the only thing to hang on to... besides, if you need to hang on, THERES ROOM FOR MORE PEOPLE!

Rule 3: When someone more needy of a seat than you gets on, MOVE.
every day, i see pregnant women, old people, kids, various invalids and other people who can't or SHOULDN'T be standing being forced to endure the rigors of the train tossing them to and fro because some punk bitch disrespectful shit is sitting reading some trashy book and pretending that they don't see. were you not beaten enough as a child to understand basics or human kindness?

Rule 4: Backpacks, and bags
if you have a backpack on, you are taking up the space that one other person could be comfortable with, take the sack off, hold it on the floor in front of you, or between your legs, also, if you carry a bag, please note, chances are you are hitting someone with it. don't be a shit, same rules apply, leading me into...

Rule 5: Large objects, bikes, Skateboards, carboard cutouts of Ohura
there are specific times of the day when it is ok to take your bike on the train... usually after the rush hour. this means DO NOT BRING YOUR BIKE ON THE TRAIN WHEN I AM ON IT. your tires are filthy, your handle bars are pokey, ride it you lazy fuck! same goes with other big shit on the train, if you didn't buy a ticket for it and it takes up space that a person should, expect it not to make the trip with you.

Rule 6: PAY FOR A TICKET
Every day, I pay for tickets in both directions, i have seen the C-train cops 5 times in the past 4 years, but I respect that these things need money to run, regardless of the giant budget they are given (and the lack of improvements i see, like ever.. or when the train can't go because the switches are frozen, or something stupid), if you live one stop outside of the free fare zone and don't pay, you are STEALING. you are a scummy bastard who prolly beat cats as a kid, and next will steal a car and after that, kill hundreds, SEEK HELP... or pay the 2.50 you cheap fuck, you prolly pissed twice that away on your first starbucks of the day.

Rule 7: MUSIC CHOICE IS PERSONAL!
I have my ipod playing all the time, but YOU CANNOT HEAR IT, however, I can hear yours OVER mine. When i can tell that you are listening to neil sedaka over my neil diamond, something is wrong... and not just with the music choices, you are messing with my Shilo time... turn it down or get off and bug some other people.

there are many more rules, but these are the ones i care the most about.... maybe is hould send this to the paper to publish... except i swear... "get the {expletive deleted} outta my face" doesn't sound as good as "get the goshdarnedu outta my face"...

wonder if the metro will publish swear words, or better yet, i'll print off like a thousand copies and give em to the metro paper handerouters to give out..

go with god my friends.
MOpitz

wow... too long...

2008-03-08T23:36:00.003-07:00

so, I haven't written in here since... fuck, July!

ok so, lets get you alls up to speed with mike and where he at.

Again, after 9 years, Mike has spawned... well, its still baking, but point is, the swimmers still work... 32 and a new dad (33 when the kid comes) is kinda scary... but oh well. we found out on new years eve... Laurie had been complaining that she was having, well chest pains and has been craving chicken fries... so we went out one night to get some, and on our way, stopped off at Shoppers, got 2 pregnancy tests, and some chocolate chip cookie schnapps, whcih incidentally, tastes like nestle quik syrup and is still sitting in the fridge 3 months later)

what else? well, i've been doing other stuff at work, web stuff... I don't profess to be an expert, and this current role is very humbling as I started it all from scratch... meh, its working out and i feel like i am fooling around all day because i get to play with code, watch it:
a) fail miserably to do anything
b) do something completely unexpected, that i then turn into a feature
c) crash the server... oops...
d) and on the odd occassion, work like it was intended...

thats about it... i know, sucks, but its my life, and i live it to the extreeeeme!

i'll be back soon...

peace to the yeast baybee.
M-dot

how politically incorrect can one man be...?

2007-07-16T21:41:00.000-06:00

well this one surely will produce much guff...

one time, a guy an me decided that a stuffed crustacean on his desk (who, incidentally, i forced into a small juice bottle...) was actually an epitaph of a much greater icon.
his name: Lobby... the Political activist Lobster

Lobby was going to be a web comic.. or a flash hero... however, I have very un-leet flash skills... so instead, lobby and his band of miscreants never made their appearance.

so rather than waste funny shit on my hard drive in some random folder, i'm gonna post all that came of it.

yes, there is a theme song that i banged out on my midi keyboard, a horrible flash animation of slappy the "special" seal.

be warned... if you view... i use swear words and words that are really not nice... so if yer a pussy... please don't visit...

http://www.datefreak.com/lobby

cheers and jeers my homies.
pour one on the curb....

Mike

just wanna bitch a bit

2007-06-18T22:15:00.000-06:00

been a while... stupid http://www.facebook.com & http://www.dragonfable.com have capitilized me and all my time as of late... i have not forgotten you tho...

so heres a few things that make me want to punch or strangle the general population...

1: people who ride escalators like they are happy fun rides.
you know what, if you are aged or otherwise decrepit... by all means, ride it at a comfy pace. However, if you are able bodied or even somewhat, use the escalator for what it is a FUCKING ASSISTANT! theya re meant to help you get from one place to another quicker... not easier...

2:people who think driving laws are not meant for them
Where i catch the train to go to work, there is a bus loop in a parking lot... everyday some "im-more-important-than-the-world fuckhole is parked in the bus loop dropping his filthy whore of a wife or girl that he never wants his wife to know about off. it is honestly 20 feet more.. 3 seconds walk time tops! i would love it dearly if they put those car traps in... man i'd love to see them fools stuck in dem dere traps...

3:people who are too afraid to move away from the doors on the train
ok, this one really gets me... at rush hour, the train is packed... but only usually in the doors... there are like 20 people in the doorway standing cock to ass (and often smelling awfully bad) where are if 1/2 of them move towards the middle of the car where the people who are standing comfortably shoulder to shoulder are, things would be easier by far. the only way you will miss your stop is if you are a silent pussy.

4:people who bitch about work
if you hate it so much... LEAVE. really... re-career... go on EI... find something new... whore yourself out.. something to get the hell away from people who WANT to be there.
chances are, you are in one way or another employable, hence the reason you have a job in the first place... believe me, I am one who knows how much job hunting sucks! i was new to calgary, we had just had our son and i was out of work for 6 months! but wheni found something, i was damned honored to be working there.

5:people who feel entitled.
i know lots of people who earn where they are in life, they earned the home they own, all the cool stuff they have, they are great parents. i also know alot of people who got where they are bysome miracle of goodwill that someone has shown them, and now because someone showed charity, they expect it. everyone should have to earn what they have as well as continue to deserve it, or else risk losing it.

k, well thats about it for now... its early bedtime time and its my birthday... so ... i ...get to sleep... now...

bye all... talk atcha soon
the 32 year old mike.

50th post

2007-05-01T22:14:00.000-06:00

This is a Momentus occasionie... for my kittens... it is my....

BLOG ENTRY!!!!!!!111

so now after all the applause... what i really wanna talk about is the addiction i now have to FUCKING FACEBOOK.

being a father and a jerk and a loner and poor and poorly hygenic, I have very few friends in life... but in facebook cyberland.. i am cybercool! as of this post i have 101 friends...

so there, take that people who suck, I am popular... :)

i know there are people out there who have tons of friends on facebook,but its a big thing to me... :)

so check me out, look for Mike Opitz on facebook.. add me and make me more popular...

i need you...

i need love...

i am very lonely...

*sniffle*

and... meat... bring me meat....

i feel like this isn't enough for my iconic 50th blog entry... what else could i talk about? oh yeah, well we bought a house, thats kindof a biggie... totally can't afford it... we are so gonna be screwed for the next 30 years... but we can paint our house whatever color we want.. thats a plus.

and, i am listening to northern pikes/spirit of the west/the odds/ thats kida different

fuck it, i'm tired... you just go fuck around and mainline some facebook... you'll be glad you did...

*humphumphumphump*

Mike

ebay man, i love feedback

2007-04-28T09:04:00.000-06:00

so just randomly scouring the net, i found http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedbackMemberLeft&memberid=tryork5ifp&items=-1&item=-1&de=off

fun enjoy this yahoos perilous journey through the ebay feedback system

*lick*

Fate

2007-04-21T01:11:00.000-06:00

so.
we are in the market for a new house
we are registered with a realtor who is helping us find a place, and he sends me automatic updates to new places that he has listings for when they show up.

we decided(settled really) for a place that was in the area we wanted, close to family, good sized and in our budget. we then started taking the steps we need to complete the deal, talking to a mortgage broker, getting a pre approval, meting with the realtor to make an offer and sign papers and stuff.

heres the fun part.

a: realtor could not meet with us tonite, so we planned for the next day
b:mortgage broker could not get back to us until monday
c:i decide to check the most recent listing he sent

c is the neat thing... this house is PERFECT. fits our budget, bigger, better area, has everything the other house didn't and more.

so, now the hard part is going to tell the realtor that we changed our minds and want to go with this other house... oh well, we didn't drop any deposits or anything yet :) heres hoping financing comes through without a hitch!

well, its late, just wanted to share a bit of the fate that led us to this other house.

g'night

New!

2007-04-17T22:02:00.000-06:00

So i (finally) went grocery shopping, and guess what i found?!?!

NEW FRICKEN KOOL-AID SINGLE FLAVORS!!!!!1111

i have been living my daily liquid intake over the past year as Cherry Koolaid, Grape Koolaid, Orange Koolaid, milk, iced tea and tea(all seperate you idiot!) but NO MORE!

tonight i was blessed with tropical punc koolaid singles and strawberry koolaid singles... i am quite happy.

and now on a totally unrelated note, I have recently become addicted to facebook... Ispend a few hours a night there just cyber-voyeuring people i know and people i don't know for just around a month now... it's very neet.

oh well, heres a list of my other addictions to share avec tu mon cous-cous.
peperoni sticks(they give me hiccups)
www.dragonfable.com
swords(but you all know that anyways)
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0001.html
www.advancinghordes.com
http://www.urbandead.com/map.cgi

etc etc etc etc

see me soon my love, for my life is incomplete without your smile.

Miked

point in life

2007-03-31T00:39:00.000-06:00

thats it, fuck it all.

i am at a point in my life where i know longer give a flying cock sucking fuck about anyone.

My needs now will be coming first.

I am sick of catering to the masses for the greater good.

I am sick of being nice just for the hopes of getting my way.

I am tired of everyone using me for what they want.

I am just fucking sick of giving.

If you want something from me, you'd better make damn fucking sure that you deserve it and are willing to put up equal or greater amounts of whatever it is you are expecting from me.

I am no longer lifes bitch.

fuck

Too big for your britches.

2007-03-26T20:05:00.000-06:00

why do some people need to control things, and when they start to lose control, manipulate others to try to regain control...? ok, lemme rephrase that a bit... *attempt* to manipulate others....

so there is this crazy... dare i say it, Cunthole at work who likes to be the boss... now, technically speaking, she is beneath me... but she seems to think that badmouthing and spewing whorish lies about people will help her get her way... well, unfortunately, you already have a bad reputation for being a lying coniving sack of monkey shit, so, your efforts are in vain.

i was doing my job, this wannabe said something to my boss stating that i was causing problems. My boss comes over, i tell her the truth, she shakes her head and says "thats just the way she is."

So, being the professional that i am, I don't change a thing about what i am doing, smile and let her have her space.... its a victory knowing that 3 years ago, i was "that guy". you know, that guy... everyone has "that guy" working with them... the guy that everyone says "oh thats just Mike, he's always like that"... believe me, its a sweet assed ride if you can get it... however, it gets you nowhere...

i learned

i am now no longer that guy, and its paying off....

bigtime..

i'm still an asshole cocksucker... i just changed peoples perception of me and internalized it all....

and as the saying kinda goes... it's 10% inspriation and 150% perception... or some crap like that

in closing... piss me off... i'll do more than make your life harder...

...i'll fucking blog you.

peace and puppies.
Mike

update to the computer drama

2007-03-23T20:18:00.000-06:00

yeah, no... wasn't the PS... it was the motherboard.

luckily it fried before the rest of the components were toasted too...

so i got a new 939 board a athlon 64 3800+ and used all the old stuff i had...

*phew*

unfortunately, my old video card is no good anymore as they, for some reason, don't make 939 boards anymore with AGP!

so if anyone is looking for some hardware, i have a 128meg 6600gt agp card, a 3000+ 754 card, and a kingston 512 pc3200 ddr chip sitting around. (i think the ram is screwey... )

oh well..

i'm gonna go beat some balls with my new clubs i bought from Jysk... Bryan thinks thats very funny

ta ta

2007-02-28T09:04:00.001-07:00

So, I am finally once again happy with my computer, when i go down to eat some alpha-ghetti.
i get there and sit down to watch some gilmore girls with laurie.(totally not for me... it was just on!!!)
finish my ghetties and go up stairs to the HORRIBLE AND TERIFYING SMELL OF BURNING ELECTRONICS!!!!!
I dash to save my beloved PC, my fans are all running... all but my CPU fan!!! ACK and ARGH!
I power the girl down, and (hopefully) luckily the smell is eminating from the power supply.
i let it cool down, pop open the powersupply, and notice a few burnt compnents.
ok, so absolutely no reason exists why this thing should all of a sudden blow... I am 98% sure that is the only problem.
oh well, luckily laurie has her laptop that i can commandeer anytime i need my net-fix.

stupid computers
... i do love you so baby.... i hope you get better and we can spends lots more time together...

XOXOXOXO

Shah Mot - the Cleansed City.

2007-02-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

Shah Mot - Rising once again.

well, lookie here, after 5 years of development, and planning (well actually, I lost interest and stopped caring... but this way sounds more intense...) Shah Mot is here.

I know, I know, WTF? well its whats called a LARP... A live action Roleplaying game... not sexy kinky role playing, but entertaining and fun roleplaying...

some people who are embarrased about what they do for fun call it "Live action improv theatre" ;)

basically, you write up a character based on standard rules, then submit a background about your character, usually in the form of a short story, then the story telling team and I approve or decline your character based on, well personal preference... if its approved, yer in, if its not, well ask for some fixes.

I personally will not disclude anyone who genuinely wants to play, however, that being said, if you end up being crazy, to the point that it disturbs others, then we will have to talk.

check it out
http://www.datefreak.com/mikeslarp
see you soon... in the world of Darkness...

tv life and stupid people.

2007-02-05T22:36:00.000-07:00

tv life and stupid people.
Current mood: indescribable

well I get home tonight to a phone call from laurie saying that she is on her way home, but she has to leave again because she witnessed an accident.

this was at about 5:15pm

she gets home, drops off the boy and tells me about it.

aparently some kids stole a car, ditched it while it was driving (like what we used to do to our BMX's and called it ghost riding, sending the bike hurtling towards disasaster for the garage door in its way) and it almost plwed into laurie who, being smart and coy enough, backs out of its way, and it hits a parked car.

so, being as law abiding and honest as she is, her and a fellow witness call the cops.

2.8ish hours later, the cops show up.

grr

so, this made me PVR Heros.

in HD.

We gets to watching it, and as usual does not fail to entertain.

especially when Mr Sulu(um, playing Hiros dad) gets in his car near the end and they flash by the limos license plate which reads NCC-1701.

I pause it, tell laurie how cool it is, its completely lost on her...

FUCK! i mean really! the designation of the fucking ENTERPRISE!

fun.

oh well, as i am hopped up on nytol and baileys in nestea steeped tea, i think it is bed time

fun

PS. Joanna, watch "The Class"

Midlife... not a sound from the pavement....

2007-02-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

Midlife is hitting me again
ok, so i'm getting old, i am 31 AND A HALF years old.

I gave up my health and beauty when i started losing my hair(about 23).

today, I have decided that i am not going to take anymore.

i am officially starting my road back to chickmagnetism.

I have slowly been losing the extra lbs i have, however, it seems my stomache does not agree.

I was 250lbs this time last year. at 5'11" its a bit unhealthy.

I gave up coke, coffee and started walking again.

I am down to 220, however, my stomache has never been bigger.

so, I am gonna start hard workouts... eat better, and just generally "try" for once.

wish me luck

and if anyone has any ideas, lemme know...

:)

the Ipod playlist trend

2007-01-30T19:17:00.000-07:00

ok, so maybe this is about a year old... but... this is my Ipod playlist...

As i have said before... my music taste is very ecclectic.

iPod nano 1g ... fixed to look like legend of zelda... the worlds most perfect game.
(zelda 1 for NES)

Alanis Morrisette - Uninvited
Alice Cooper - how you gonna see me now
Alice Cooper - Only Women Bleed
Avenue q - I Wish I Could Go Back to College
Barenaked Ladies - Another Postcard (Chimps)
Barenaked Ladies - The Old Apartment acoustic
Barenaked Ladies - When I Fall
Berenice - I'm proud
Berenice - I'd rather sleep alone
Berenice - Imperfect Girl
Billy Joel - My Life
Billy Klippert - Levon
Bo Bice - I Don't Want To Be
Bon Jovi - Bed Of Roses
Cake - I Will Survive
Cake - Short Skirt
Cake - The Distance
Cast - Where Do I Go
Charmed - Theme Song
Chris Daughtry - Wanted Dead Or Alive
Clay Aiken - Solitaire
Colm Wilkinson - This is the Moment
Counting Crows - Mr Jones
Coven 13 - Book of Shadows
Daniel Lioneye - The King of Rock'n Roll
Darling Violetta - I Want To Kill You (Capadocian)
Dennis DeYoung - Desert Moon
Disturbed - Down With the Sickness
Disturbed - Prayer
Disturbed - The Game
Eddie Murphy & Antonio Banderas - Livin La Vida Loca
Elton John - Empty Garden (Hey
Elvis Costello - Allison
Eminem Vs Panjabi MC - Lose Yourself
Enrique Iglesias - Escape
Eric Heatherly - Flowers On The Wall
Frente - Labour Of Love
Frente! - Bizarre Love Triangle
Garth Brooks - Wrapped Up In You (Long version)
Golden Earring - Twilight Zone
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
Gordon Lightfoot - Canadian Railroad Trilogy
Gordon Lightfoot - Black Day In July
Gordon Lightfoot - Does Your Mother Know
Gordon Lightfoot - Gordon Lightfoot Early Morning Rain
Gordon Lightfoot - Poor Little Allison
Gordon Lightfoot - Song for a Winter's Night
Great Big Sea - Berry Picking Time
great big sea - Fisherman's Lament
great big sea - Last Shanty
great big sea - marimac
Great Big Sea - The Chemical Worker's Song (Process Man)
Great Big Sea - The Night Pat Murphy Died
Group X - Bang Bang Bang
Group X - Don't Touch That
Group X - Good Girl Yes
Group X - Legend of Zelda
Hair - Let the Sunshine in
Hair the musical - Manchester England
Heather Alexander - March of Cambreadth
Ice-T - Lethal Weapon
Ice-T - The Hunted Child
Irish Drinking Songs - A Jug Of Punch
Ja Rule - Murder Reigns
Jacob Hoggard - Sundown
Joaquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon - Jackson
Joey Scarbury - Believe It Or Not
John Cougar Mellencamp - Dance Naked
John Mellencamp - Wild Nights
Johny Cash & June Carter - Long Legged Guitar Pickin' Man
Jon Bon Jovi - Blood Money
Jonathan Larson - Another Day
Jonathan Larson - Goodbye Love
Jonathan Larson - Halloween
Jonathan Larson - I'll Cover You
Jonathan Larson - I'll Cover You
Jonathan Larson - La Vie Boheme
Jonathan Larson - One Song Glory
Jonathan Larson - Rent -Revised
Jonathan Larson - Seasons of Love
Jonathan Larson - Tango Maureen
Jonathan Larson - What You Own
Jonny Cash - Jackson
Julia Ecklar - Threes
Kalan Porter - True Colors (w Theresa Sokyrka)
Kathleen Wilhoite - Wish We Never Met
Kidd Rock and Cheryl Crowe - Pictures
KT Tunstell - Black Horse & The Cherry Tree
Lauren Ellis - All Or Nothing
Lauren Ellis - Dry As A Bone
Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song
Lemonheads - Mrs Robinson
Levellers - The Boatman
Levellers - The Devil Went Down To Georgia
Levellers - The Riverflow
Live - I Alone
Live - I Walk The Line
M.A.S.H. - Suicide Is Painless
Me first and the gimme gimmes - 500 miles
Me first and the gimme gimmes - I think I love you
Me First And The Gimme Gimmes - One Tin Soldier
Me first and the gimme gimmes - Only the good die young
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Summer Of 69
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Wild World
MeatLoaf - More Than You Deserve
Meatloaf - Paradise By The Dashboard Light
MeatLoaf - Razor's Edge
MeatLoaf - Read Em And Weep
Meatloaf - What Ever Happened to Saturday night
Meatloaf - Where Angels Sing
Megan Mullally - Danny Boy
megan mullally - how insensitive
Mercedes Lackey
Mercedes Lackey - Bad Magic Day
Mercedes Lackey - Shield Spell
Mercedes Lackey - Shin'a'in Warsong
Michael Ball - Ave Maria
Michael Ball - Song For You
Moist - Believe Me
Moist - Push
Moist - Silver
Moxy Fruvous - Billie Jean Medley
Moxy Fruvous - Green Eggs and Ham
Moxy Fruvous - Gulf War Song
Moxy Fruvous - Johnny Saucep'n
Moxy Fruvous - Kick In The Ass
Moxy Fruvous - King of Spain (Cranky Monarch Version)
Moxy Fruvous - River Valley
MOXY FRUVOUS - THE KIDS SONG
Neil Diamond - Shilo
Neko Case - Runnin' Out Of Fools
NWA - 100 Miles And Running
Oasis - Wonderwall
Original Broadway Cast - If You Were Gay
Original Broadway Cast - The Internet Is For Porn
Original Broadway cast - the wizard and i
Original Broadway Cast - There's a Fine
Original Cast - There's Me
Paul Williams - Faust
Paul Williams - Special To Me
Paul Williams - The Hell Of It
Paula Cole - Sunny Came Home
Pearl Jam - Jeremy
Peter Schilling - Major Tom (94 Club Remix)
Phantom of the Paradise - Paul Williams - Goodbye
Proclaimers - King Of The Road
Purple Haze - Least Complicated
Queen - BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY
Queen - Radio Ga Ga
Rankin Family - Tell My Ma
Rob Zombie - Brickhouse 2003
Rockapella - Summer of '69
Rockapella - Heart Of Gold
Rockapella - Shambala
Rockapella - Tears in Heaven
Rockapella - Tempted By The Fruit of Another
Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah
Sarah Brightman - Dust in the Wind
Sarah Brightman - Scarborough Fair
Shakira - Underneath your clothes
sinead o'connor - all apologies
Slade - Run Runaway
Sloan - The Other Man
Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm
Snap - The Power Of Bhangra Snap vs Motivo
Sopranos - Woke Up This Morning
Styx - Cold War
Styx - Heavy Metal Poisoning
Styx - I'm Sailing Away
Styx - Mr. Roboto
Styx - Show Me The Way
Supertramp - Give A Little Bit
Supertramp - The Logical Song
t.A.T.u - Craving [I Only Want What I Ca
Tatu - 30 Minutes
Tatu - All About Us
TATU - clowns (can you see me now?)
TATU - Friend or Foe
TATU - Gomenasai
Tatu - How Soon Is Now
Tatu - Malchick Gay
TATU - Perfect Enemy
TATU - Sacrifice
TATU - We Shout
The Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays
The Clash - Rock the Casbah
The Colgate Swinging 'Gates - The Weakness In Me
The Dandy Warhols - We Used To Be Friends
The Killers - All These Things That I've Done
The Macc Lads - Mr Methane
The Nylons - (Na Na Hey Hey) Kiss Him Goodbye
The Police - Murder by Number
The Rankin Family - Border and Time
Theresa Sokyrka - Angel Eyes
Theresa Sokyrka - Change The World
Theresa Sokyrka - Corcovado
Theresa Sokyrka - Cruisin'
Theresa Sokyrka - God Bless The Child
Theresa Sokyrka - Good Mother
Theresa Sokyrka - Here I Am
Theresa Sokyrka - She Let Her Hair Down
Theresa Sokyrka - Song for a winters night
Theresa Sokyrka - track6
Theresa Sokyrka - Turned My Back
Tim McGraw - Tiny Dancer
Treat Williams - Hair
tufts beelzebubs - Your Song
Twisted Sisters - We're Not Gonna Take It
U2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
U2 - With or Without You
Uncle Kracker - Follow Me
Uncle Kracker Ft. Busta Rhymes - Freaks Come Out At Night
Vampire - The Cruxshadows - Deception
Vanessa Mae - French Cancan
Various Artists - Rapture in Moonlight
Wave - Don't Say Sarah
Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart

Socialite

2007-01-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

So, this is gonna be cross posted with my fake blog... check my myspace page if you can find me

(i'll make it real hard)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=69566813

I am not usually a concert going kinda guy... i used to only go to "shows" musical productions, broadway shows... i mean really, i wanna see if anyone can do it as good as i did, and usually they can't... but as of late, i have started going to other shows, concerts and even a magic show:)

It started when i found out Meat Loaf was coming to Calgary... I told Laur i wanted tickets, she got me some :) (she does rock) pretty nice.

followed by good ole' lite96 having this awesome thing where you get the songs of the day, get points and buy stuff with em... i bought David Copperfield tickets! and... that show certainly did rock lots.

next in line was The Rankin Family. Laur got some tickets through work, we were in the Calgary Herald Suite... and let me tell you, it definatly was aweseome.... free food, free beer, private bathroom, simply swank... i think i am spoiled.... oh yeah, the show was great too... (cookie is my fave)

Whats next? well theres a contest on lite96 for front row seats to BareNakedLadies... here's hopin'!

love and licks!

Mtotheizzo

A year in review

2006-12-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

A year in review of Mopitz

My Work
Well this is actually, Last year… but whatever... it’s cool

I suggested we do this to someone, the buggers did it to me on my day off instead… everything is wrapped in cellophane… my pens, my computer, my name plate, my phone… EVERYTHING!

Heres Halloween at my work…

My Animals
Here we have Mr Bessie Hoppenschtein.

Kind of a weird name, I know… well, we thought he was a girl when we got him, however, we (especially my Cat Haley) found out he is in fact a boy.
He’s named Bessie cus he has cow colors :)

Here we have our puppy Scout home on her very first day with us in March.
She was a Shitzu-Pomeranian cross, cute as hell.

From early on, she was having seizures, we had no idea why and none of the vets we took her to could help.

They seemed to slow down about 7 months in, however, one day, she just stopped eating and throwing up whatever she was able to get down.
We took her to the vet and she had to be put down, I was devastated. Scout was 7 months old.
This was the last picture we took of her, about 2 days before she got sick.

She had Ham that night, she was so happy and excited, she’d walk behind me on her back legs to beg.

The next day, after she passed away, we went and got a new pet and name him Paladin.
Pal is not a replacement dog, he is an added member of our family

Believe me, he only *LOOKS* innocent.
Here is his evilness after digging in the back yard…

My Son.

He has been Diagnosed ADHD.

Through medication and patience, he is doing ok.
Here is a picture of one of the things he does to focus and keep busy at lunch time.

One day Laurie was sleeping and left me in charge of the boys (my son and my nephew)
This is what happened :)

That’s a quick what’s what with me… I hope you enjoy.

Toodles

Mike
http://www.datefreak.com/
http://lordsethos.blogspot.com/

Superman/Bulletproof.

2006-12-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

So lately, I have been back into my superman comic collecting phase..

prolly me trying to recapture my youth.

to date, i have like 200+ superman comics or as some of you folks in denial call em, "Graphic Novels..." ... ingrates.

superman and superman related titles only...

Why do i like Superman? no idea... i only like him with long hair... right after he died and came back, we was sporting a new coif... almost a mullet :)

I also have other superman related paraphenalia.. including an awesome black and silver spandex/lycra catsuit :)(showing here...) and a cool superman in flight statue... neat hey?

so why did i double title this? well, I work with a real life superman... His name is Big H.
He works as a bouncer at a local bar, and on saturday, he was doing his job ensuring people who shouldn't be in his bar were not getting in.

Well, someone obviously took exception to him and came back, face clad in a belaclava, and fired 7 shots at Big H, hitting him 3 times before taking off like a fucking coward.

WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE????

Piecing together the story from people who knew more, Big H, having a bullet recently torn through him, went into the bar, told the bartender what happened and realized that there may have been more people hurt and went back outside to see if anyone needed help or saw anything!

Big H will make a full recovery, and was up and walking around the next day.

now i'm not saying Big H is supernatural or alien, or much like superman at all... I mean come on.. Superman died!

Big H, Good luck buddy! I'm waiting for you to get back to work, We have a lot to catch up on.

Faster than a speeding bullet
Mike.

lets talk about the rules.

2006-09-18T20:09:00.001-06:00

so, today, i was sitting around... bored like i tend to be... and i decided there needs to be a rulebook for all these games we play in life.

lets start with
NOT IT
premise and usage: this game is meant to finitelt decide who has to do a certain task.
when one participant chooses this method as a decision making process, said person calls out a preface "in the interest of fairness..." or "there is only one way to decide this..." or whatever scripting you choose that identifies that a call is forthcoming. This is followed by a count of 3, then each participant calls out "not it". the last one to respond is in fact "it".
heres a quick role play, played by brian, fred, tommy, dennis, and i'll be that last player

Brian:"who is going to tell sherry that we accidentally microwaved her parrot?"
fred:"the only fair and equitable way to decide this is... 1-2-3-NOT IT"
brian:"not it"
tommy:"not it"
Dennis:"not it"
me:"not it... damnit i'm it."

simple.
a few caveats apply...
1:if a person who is directly involved in the team or problem is not present and a game is called, that person defaults to "it" automatically.
2:if there is a question about who in fact is it, game goes to best 2 out of 3
3:if a decision is still not made after #2, the participants in question then go to a tie breaker of rock paper scissors.

next... lets talk
PUNCH BUGGY
so, this game dates back to the hippy infested 60's
back then, sure, love sex and cooties reigned supreme, however... there was also a need by the fuglies to get out their pent up anger and frustration... thus punch buggy was born.

The basics behind this one are, if you see a volkswagen beetle, you call out "punch buggy no return" then proceed to punch whomever you choose.

Billy sees a red volkswagen beetle parked alongside the road.
Billy:"punch buggy red no return!" and punches brians arm.
Brian:"ow, my arm..."
billy:"heh heh heh"

simple.
rules apply....
1:if you fail to call out "no return", the punchee may reverse it and call the same one, and thus has permission to punch you back.
2:if you callout the wrong color, you also forfeit the free punch and therefore can expect retribution.
3:each car, assuming that there is a "no return" attached, constitutes only one punch, however, if you are unlucky enough to be blind and yer jerky friend walks you past a volkswagen dealership... well sucks to be you.

thats it for now... i need to relax, I really wish there was a punch buggy at the post office today... that lady needed a punch badly.

yours in red tape:
Don Quixote De La Mike

80th percentile.

2006-06-28T21:55:00.000-06:00

So, I just wanted to cross post another goodie to here and my Youtube site.

I read somewhere that 80% of the blogs out there bitch about work.

so here i go.

lemme tell you what is going on at work. they have this thing where we submit ideas and people vote on those idea... kinda like a corporate hot-or-not competition.

So i submit an idea about a health kick that just needs to go away at work... remember a while back i told you about the vending machine being all cool and awesome...? well they royally screwed that up by taking all the great toothhurty stuff out and putting health crap in.. no more coke, no more choco milk no more good stuff... just junk that keeps me regular.

granted i am off Coke and Coffee... I don't need anything but 1 red bull in the morning and 3 or 4 bottles of Koolaide singles a day.

so anyways, i give my "no more apples in the vending machine please" idea and after several people vote on it, they shut it down and told me to find my crap food elsewhere...

guh... in grates.

thats about it for now, i am way to hot to be dressed right now..

love forever
Mikey
www.datefreak.com

Technology Crash

2006-06-13T22:28:00.000-06:00

Hey all.

Thought I'd try something a little different this time with my blog...

yeah I know, You can see me watching my hands as i type... shut up :)

today was a screwey day... I got up at the regular time, and i got into work like 45 minutes late... no real reason, I just didn't get there on time.

oh, and i forgot my pass.

So work went mostly hitchless, a few wierd things here and there, but nothing too noteworthy... it wasn't until I was going home.

I left at my regular leaving time, weird i know, met up with Adi out front and we went to catch the train.

walking up to the train, Adi was busy texting away on his cell when this dirty looking guy walks by and grumbles "Geeks" at us... I turn around and say "Why because we are employed...?" jerk.

Then he starts yelling at me and saying stuff... I signal for him to come on back and we'll talk about it, you know, Geek to stupid-homeless-jerk-who-needs-a-punch-in-the-throat kinda way, and he waves it off. I turn around and he decides to, you know, Charge at me... kinda like in a cartoon where the dumb guy charges at the smart guy, and the smart guy sidesteps him... well i didn't sidestep him, I caught him with my hand, which hurts mind you, and redirect him into a pole... he then lays there, I laugh and get on my train on my way home.

people are very dumb sometimes... Luckily for me there is a c-train camera and lots of witnesses.

ingrate.

oh well... off to sleep or, whatever happs.

ta muffin!

Mike... the Buminator.
creepily crossposted to
http://www.youtube.com/user/lordsethos

It's Chairaoke time.

2006-04-09T14:41:00.000-06:00

So I started this new thing I call Chairaoke... it's me... signing into my computer screen with a camera capturing all...

yes, I know the songs are suck! that is part of the fun of doing em!

gonna do some more of my own genre soon... these rock/pop/disco ones hurt ;)

hm... seems the site i post them on is down right now... as soon as they are up (and I notice they are up) I'll pos the link here...

if just can't wait and want to repeatedly F5 them, go to http://www.youtube.com and search for consuela :)

ok there.. :) its back up....

go there now unless you phear phun!

toodle tarties.http://www.youtube.com/user/lordsethos

fun.

2006-03-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

being sick of having to play by the rules and keeping things on the up and up, i have began randomly editing http://uncyclopedia.org/

fun as hell...

off to play with my 200gb nano

Embrace change...

2006-03-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

so today, my whole work world fell apart.

Not in a negative way persay, just everything that i have done and dealt with for the past 3 months is now different.

because change forces us to go forward, we lost some awesome people... which, as we know, fucking sucks and is very demoralizing...

but, to grow means to change.
so begins...

Chapter 7, the corner desk
...

TBC
Mike

so i thougt i'd swap the dark side for the good side... hope you don't mind

2006-02-26T20:53:00.000-07:00

I was sick of being a goth kiddy... i wanted something a little nicer to read and easier on the printers out there...:0

yeah... i know what you are all saying "Dude! black is the new black! what are you about here?" and i'm like, yeah, i know, but whatever ok!

shut up, i'm sick!

i was sitting here, looking at por.... i mean stocks on the internet and i decided i wanted something different... so i did.

anyways enough about all that.

I'm sick... as i already said... geez pay attention!!! So anyways, Laur has been sick all week with strepthroat or however you spell it.. and i thought i was in the clear as in the past few days shes been getting better... nope.

see... i hate doctors, i never go to a doctor... lesse, since i have been in calgary, coming on 8ish years now, i have been to the hospital/doctor... (thinking...) 5 times for myself... first was a doctor, who called me fat and then proceeded to tell me i have had a heart attack recently, then proceeded to die... one was a stupid night of free booze and steak and beans and that one was not my choice i woulda been happy to just puke it all away... next was a stupid car accident that hurt my back... but everyone thought i was lying for the money... followed by kidney stones(holy FUCK!) and then to tell em i think i have strept throat.

best country in the world for medicare and i hate doctors...

see you in the obituaries...
*cough* *OW*
Mike

The past is creepy...

2006-02-22T22:01:00.000-07:00

so.. bored outta my nutsack, i decided to go and digitize a vid from back in the day. it's about this guy named consuella... long story.... when i gets to thinking back to the olden days in the great little Rivercity of Winnipeg Manitoba...

*shudder*

I left a lot of awful memories back there... but these guys were not them.

http://elnegromagnifico.blogspot.com/ - Allan... Al... Alzy, whatever you wanna call him... he was a great guy... hell, I even had him be my best man at my wedding... we grew up for the first few years together, always made me laugh and was always an easy guy to talk to. I moved away around grade three, came back in grade 10, Al did not change, remained an awesome friend, and got through some pretty confusing times with him.

Next is Jeope... http://jeope.blogspot.com/ pronounced Jopee(heh)... another great guy... spent a few night just sitting around talking with him. he moved to our school early on... we all thought him odd because he could draw a map with the skill of a grade 10er when we were in grade 1... or 2 or whenever :) regained touch with him at the same time as i did with Al... lots of roadtrips... heheh portage la prairie never saw us coming!

finally is Maeengan... http://maeengan.blogspot.com/ Or Mac as i remember him... he's the one that got me into a few things that i waaaaaay should have not tried out... :) one memory i have is having too many ferero rocher and beer... *eww* sorry about the carpet... meh, he made me clean it up myself anyways...

well thats enough for now... check these guys out... i found their blogs...

guys... it's been waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

Mike.

Love is in the air.

2006-02-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

So tell me... (not that you really can, but speak your answer into your monitor or something...)
Why do we love?

I have a few ideas.

I think we love because we want acceptance.

I am odd, different, off center, wacky, weird, creepy, crazy, fat, balding and greying, yet someone, for whatever reason, has decided to love me. She has put up with alot over the past 8ish years and, while we've had the occasional speedbump/fenderbender/headoncollision, it has basically remained constant. We don't like to sleep alone, we wait for eachother to come home, we kiss and we hug (*ahem, we'll stop there) daily. She accepts me.... which amazes me daily... she accepts my quirks, laughs at my stories, serves as my sounding board and makes me feel good.

There are rough spots... we are not perfect, sometimes, my eccentricities get too unbearable, but we survive. Weah it's not all butterflies puppies and cake, but it is mine.

Another theory I have is procreationetical instincts. We primally seek a place to plant or recieve a seed to do our genetical potionry. We shared that 7 and a bit years ago... and luckily for me, he acts and looks just like me, so i know he's mine :)

And finally, Completion. we all seek an open parenthesis to our closed... a to to a from, a if to a then or a 6 to our 9. and open ( just seems like it lacks purpose. i need a ride, she has a van, i like stuff, she buys me stuff... i like pork stuffing, she eats the pork.

so, by my tally...
Acceptance- Check
Spawning- Check
Completion - Check.

hmm, sorry ladies, i am taken and will be till the end.
... if only i could convince her to get a barwench outfit......

mushy fluffy me,
Mike

Corporate world and it's many awesome buzzwords.

2006-01-30T20:50:00.000-07:00

As most of you know...(my readership is like 7) I work for a corporation...

One of the coolest things about being in a big company, aside from the obvious hot office chicks in hot office chick wear, is the inventing of words or phrases that we use to sound forward thinking.

Going forward - used when you are telling people what we are doing from here on out.
"On a going forward basis, i'd like to see you be here on time"

Pre-active -used in place of Proactive.
"Team, this is something we need to be preactive rather than reactive on"

Socialize - the word used to continually introduce a topic into conversation
"At the next managers meeting, i will be sure to socialize my idea for profit sharing"

funs i tell ya... now if they would only start using dirty words..................

Blowjob - the act of screwing something up
"I can't believe how bad those sales numbers were, what a blowjob!"

Clit mouse - a mouse with scroll button rather than the scroll wheel.
"I have to call systems because my clit mouse needs to be replaced"

etc etc etc etc etc

hardware killa

2006-01-19T20:13:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting here, playing with an external usb adapter, and i plugs a hard drive into it... not working... but smokey... so i figure ok, oops... then i try another one and get the same result... ;) as fun as this is, it makes it hard to back up my ps2 games to stop having to find the disks to switch games all the time... see cuz playstation 2 can use a usb harddrive... so whilst i am doing this, ma boy comes in and tells me his tape player has eaten another one of his harry potter books on tape, so i gave him my karaoke machine, and now he can sing along with it :)

i wonder what the next piece of electronics will die tonite? my DVD player? My tv? my home theater system? my panasonic cordless phone? who knows. well, my Credit card and ebay need to have a chat tonite i guess.

What do you do with a BA in nothing?

2006-01-04T22:04:00.001-07:00

so, tell me why i spent 15,000 going to college to learn how to account things and how to be a commercial cooking kinda guy when 10 years later i am wandering the floors of a call center telling folks how to do their jobs...?

my schooling started when i was a wee youngun way back in 1979 days of freakazoid robots and the blooming world of glam pop. i started in nursery school.... walking into metal poles in front of hospitals, wearing my incredible hulk shoes and trying to get the big pillow for mat time.
i then grew up a bit to start being able to take the bus alone, which costed me a quarter... stealing other kids transformers and fighting in the playground over marbles... YOU STILL HAVE MY MARBLES MRS MOFFAT!!!!!

i moved away from my friends in grade 4 to a new school in St Vital where we started to learn the joys of sex ed and i found an awesome book called 101 uses for dead cat... hehe a rifle... :)
grade 5 is where i was tested for IQ and came out as a smart kid with a 182 IQ.
grade 6 is where i got the acting bug in a play we did about Louis Riel. Alas, these were my bad kid years... falling into a crowd of stealers. i personally never stole anything from a store, i preffered to get my booty by going on perfectly legitimate bottle drives, bless those drunk partiers up the road... they helped us buy a box of Garbage pail kid stickers;) after turning into a badass, i grew my hair out long, then started skateboarding... we were poor and all i had was an old skinny board from the 70s... but i still rocked.

i moved back to my roots when i as in grade 10... back to my childhood friends, back to the place i belonged... then, turned geek. grade 10 is where i met my high school sweet heart... and also when i started being a D&Der... i loved playing a mischievious thief... in grade 10, after being a company dancer for the RWB, i felt this was not my calling, and started into musical theater... got my first break with Cats with the WTPAG. being an established dancer and a wanna be singer, this was a great launching point for me. lesse... Anne of green gables was next, then came annie(2 seperate productions at once playing 2 different characters SHEESH!), followed by my most awesomist role as Grantaire in Les Miserables... topped off with a stint in Grease in toronto where i also auditioned for Man of La Mancha, but the production was cancelled... leading me back to Winnipeg to be Peter in Jesus christ superstar... then, being all high and mighty and thinking i was king of the world, went out for a role in Tommy... to which i was told "you are way to sappy of a singer for a rock show..." ending my desire to continue.

I graduated high school, then went onto College where i learned in the first year how to balance a balance sheet and how to make sure yer assets are sufficient blah blah blah. secoind year was commercial cooking... much more fun... but in this, i was in the chef training and needed a practicum to finish my degree... so i worked in a high priced snooty restauraunt under a chef named Ed... disgustingly, this place was so expensive, that once, they dropped a nice t bone steak, picked it up, rinsed it, resauced it and served it. needless to say, i left the industry.

this brings me to a dark point in my life... what to do? I sold vaccuums... made a few bux... really messed my life up and got married... to where i needed a carreer, not just a job, leading me to a call center... finally, a place i was happy. I loved it, learned lots, met a great girl, left my wife and moved to Calgary with my new found love... oh yeah, i got her pregnant, so that helped in the lets stay together thing :)

so... moved to calgary... Applied for a call center job out here, but couldn't sell the guy a pencil, so i didn't get it. then, decided, for lack of ANYTHING else, got a job in Retail... this went ok... got me a management position, ran a few stores, and was the highest paid manager in the city for a while... then i quit because i was unhappy... OOPS! kindof a dumb move, as who else would hire a moron who wanted to cook/account/sing to be paid alot? apparently no one for 6 months... sure i had odd jobs here and there, outbound sales for a call center, sold leather, helped build a bookstore, flipped burgers... but nothing was quite fitting... until I decided to try the call center place again from 5 years ago that i failed the first time around... and went for another outbound... didn't get it... but then i was called back by someone who has become an awesome helper in my growth here. She told me they were hiring for inbound, gave me some pointers and got me another interview for that side... which i nailed thanks to her tutelage... and am doing swimmingly there now...

so there... my life as a geek in the making, yes I still play D&D, I collect swords, trying desperately to convince Laurie that i should have a pony tail again... who cares if my hairline starts 6 inches further than it did 10 years ago, raising a son, providing for a family... life is quite ok.

oh yeah... and now we have a rabbit....

cream cheese and porn flakes to all!
Mike

I'm sick...

2005-11-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

you know... i have had headaches, all the time actually... I have had diahrhea, constipation, aches, pains, scars, infections, scabs, tightness, bruises, bumps, measels, itches, rashes and a heart attack. none of these suck as much as a cold.

I hate when i can't swallow, my throat hurts, i can't taste food, i feel dizzy and that damned runny nose.

I can function perfectly fine up until the dreaded cold sets in, i just feel like crap and if i had to work on a day when i have a cold i would be completely useless there and prolly get fired or reassigned.

but, it's sunday, it's cold out, my boogers are flowing down my moustache, i am sniffling up what i can, wiping off what i can't, and life just sucks.

i wish someone would invent a hot drink, that gets you drunk and cleared u up and got yer headache to go away, kinda like bioling some advil liqui-gels in rye...

*sniffle*
Miek
...Mike

what would you do?

2005-08-22T20:46:00.000-06:00

lets say, for example, you work for a faceless corporation... and lets say the union, that is to represent you to that faceless corporation, decides to make unilateral decisions based on old mentalities and outdated expectations?

unilaterally meaning they held a vote over 2 years ago(when times were quite different) that said, if we were to strike, would we have your support... not that we have anything in mind or whatnot... just sort of, you know hypothetically(he he he - shh stop laughing they can hear you...).

and that strike vote, which 75% of your 86% "support" are no longer employed by said faceless corp, suddenly is the basis and validation for a blatant walkout.

i never voted

if we voted before we were asked to walkout, and majority ruled, i would gladly support them.

I say them because that union that was to support me has advised i am persona non gratis, an outcast... a filthy scab.

one union member was quoted as saying contracted out employees are not scabs because they are doing jobs they were hired for. .. not quite right, but i'll take it...

hmm... like me

i work for a company that supports a hell of a lot of customers. and without thoise customers, we really don't have a business.

I decided to cross the line because I believe our customers need us.

and you know what? my company appreciates me.

remember all of you who yell and call me a scab, all of you who say that you hope i am proud, need to realize:
a) you will have to come back to work with me soon enough,
and b) I am damn proud.

Mike

neat

2005-08-22T20:43:00.000-06:00

Hi, just me...

you know what i really hate? fakes

now not the usual fakes like boobs... cus i love those.... fake, real, inverted, whatever. if it is on a womans chest, and bare... i like it...

no Real fakes... like people.

i hate it when you have someone who is really great as a friend, you piss em off or do something that they don't believe 100% in and the think then you are the biggest piece of shit that could fall out of a fake elvis' ass.

honestly, this isn't based on any one new situation... i just started typing and thought, hm, i hate fakes.

byee

been a while... lots of stuff going on...

2005-07-03T16:13:00.000-06:00

here's a stolen blog link....
http://www.livejournal.com/users/uncut_diamond/158646.html

Marriage is the legal union of two adults who decided to commit to one another... why should 2 same sex people have any less rights than a pair of opposite sex folks? bible states marriage is the union of a man and a woman... so that means you have to be opposite in the eyes of god to have a church sanctioned marriage... luckily, as a society, we are not run by the church anymore... and i am glad for it. only problem I have is I live in alberta... with a red neck premiere who drinks too much... and he is still fighting the bill.... "if same sex marriage is legal, we'll just not sanction marriage at all in alberta"

so yay for gays, yay for straights... honestly... it opens up a lot more possibilities for those of who don't judge people by whats in their pants, but by what is in their hearts.

peas, lube and haremgirls!
Mike

ah weird... runes work.

2005-06-07T23:16:00.000-06:00

blues clues is fun... we found all 3 clues!
so I was sitting here, thinking, what can i do with wire, a torch and my flesh.... so i decide...
maybe....
but no, sticking wire in my flesh, then burning myself would be stupid.
however, If i burn the wire, then stick it on my flesh... i could get a cool looking design...
I burned Fehu into my arm. and it hurt... alot
http://www.venusilluminated.com/files/Fehu_rune_of_prosperity.jpg
Manda said, if i ever have a stupid idea again, to check with her and she would advise me that it is a stupid idea and i could move on...

this was a few months ago....

I forgot she suggested i check with her first.

Funny how pain is not a memory we retain... if it were, we would all be only childs... so i decided that i needed to add to my design... above my fehu, I burned in Eolh.
http://www.venusilluminated.com/files/protection.jpg

and it hurt... alot.

funny thing is, this one, i kinda screwed up... the wire skipped and it added an extra line... looks like i combined Fehu and Eolh together... and then, the next day, 3 new opportunities at work developed... weird... but genuinely fun...

i wonder if there is a rune for building tremendous pectoral muscles....

*slurp*
Mike.
www.datefreak.com

life passing me by

2005-06-05T21:09:00.000-06:00

in 13 days, I will be 30.

what have I accomplished.

Well, first and formost, I have created a healthy and Happy son...

I have been on stage in a few different places, singing a few different songs.

I have fought many a man, won a few fights.

Been married, seperated, commonlaw, single, and dating.

i'd give you a list of names, but a few i forget and the far too many would make me seem... um, well slutty.

with 30 years, I have fallen prey to male pattern baldness, grown a pot belly from nothing, have a few battle scars, some self inflicted for various reasons, drink too much coffee and coke, have horrible teeth, often sit naked to play on the internet, look at way too much porn, sing way too loud in my apartment, live on way too little money, spend what i do have frivilously, pine way too much over the past, collect way too much junk, never clean, never recycle, sleep way too many sleepless nights and do really stupid things.

hm

oh well... i think i'll go burn my arm again.

ta.

www.datefreak.com

work life balance...? whassat?

2005-05-17T14:56:00.000-06:00

Now I work for a union... a Union that is currently in dispute... so, really i work for a corporateion that is trying to bully the union into something by using it's pawns (aka me and a few thousand like me).

Working till 8 is crappy, especially when it is on a friday nite and you have plans.
but i do like to sleep in....

These early shifts are really getting to me... I work between 7:00 and 8:00 all this week, random start times...
It's even affecting the creative juices in me... I don't like the fact that there is a 6am at all! and the people who call in at 7:00 because they just got their bill...? I MEAN REALLY! eat some toast, have a shower... hell masturbate... do something till at least 9!

what i don't understand is people.
people who call in and say "it's my moms account" and think they are entitled to access it.
NO! we have laws in this country and rules in place to protect privacy of individuals.... if we didn't have rules, I for one would definately be punching more random people and throwing my crap at them.

I honestly don't feel creative enough to be talking to you all today... but I did want to tell you, yes i am still alive, and am *still* waiting for all my Karma presents....

yours in Chicken

Mike
www.datefreak.com

argh!:)

2005-05-09T23:13:00.000-06:00

so i'm sitting here, you know reading the financial statements of successful companies in a comfortable suit (read:looking at porn, naked) when this guy i know sends me a link.

http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1115696348phj

meh, it's interesting.

you should all try it...

Great!

2005-04-28T21:00:00.000-06:00

So i get to the point where i have my team nice and trained to the inner workings of the mind of Mike, when now, we are being seperated. Awright, Fine! Embrace change! each step we take is a step toward something new.

whatever!

I seem to be on teams that end up vacant and then dispersed... I was just at the point where when i came in and if someone was sitting at *my* desk, they knew it was mine and would offer to leave!

see, I don't mind not sitting at my desk, but I do mind sitting anywhere where the first 45 minutes are on the phone with tech support to make my new computer know that I am sitting there... I'm not a moron mind you... as most of you know, However, the new computers we got fucked up my profile... so now it no longer roams with me.... then i get in shit from my manager because I was not on the phones.... um, DUDE! get them to fix my shit then!

but I digress... I wish the couple of managers who i actually know/can converse with were able to get me... however, this is not so... I am going to a team where my standin manager that i had during the past month is going to... hmm... now lets see how hard it will be to develop my leadership skills with: 1: a manager, 2: a developing manager 3:a bunch of people i don't know. 4: a low morale going into a new team

fuck....

but... I digress some more.

i'm going to go smoke some buttered rum tabbacy and make A that bracelet i have been promising him.

I AM ... Mike.

www.datefreak.com

too long

2005-04-25T18:31:00.000-06:00

I know i know, it's been a while... shaddap already!

not much new going on... decided it would be fun to shave my head and expose my scalp pimples. I was hiding them beneath a layer of thinning hair, and everytime i would comb said hair, they'd get stuck and i would swear.

now this is starting to sound like a freestyle rap.

what else... hmm.. pending labour issues at work have made my sleeping very crappy.... I wish we could just figure out whats what and get it settled. I honestly don't care who wins out in the dispute, either way, i can get some fucking sleep!

decided the other day i would make a new chainmail vest... i got about 22 inches by 8 inches in one night... not bad... but that was 2 weeks ago and also the only night i worked on it.

found out that this video card (MSI Geforce4 6600GT) is very cool, cool beyond some cool stuff that is far too cool to be cool... like godly cool... or Strongbad cool... I hooked my digital cam up to my tv-in on the card, and i can use it as a super hi-res webcam... with zoom and stuff... very neat... Just wish i had a power cord for it instead of doing internet sex chat... uhh i mean banking... chat with double a's

thats about it... I hope you all still love me... if not FU

*winx*
Mike
www.datefreak.com

Strong smells.

2005-04-19T20:33:00.000-06:00

Usually, I dislike smells... you know, people swimming in perfume, prolly to cover up the fact they had dirty sex last night, or the fact they dislike showering... but Last night, I found a smell i really like.

Cigars.

a nice young lady called Manda decided she would be ultra cool, and whilst she was basking in the brilliant cuban sun on a beach, she thought, "hey, since i am here with all this wonderful nature, I should bring something back that is all of this wrapped up into a tube!" nice thought.

... woulda settled for pics from the nudie beaches, but a gift is a gift....

so anyways, i decided to puff on it for a while... a bit strong at first, 'specially because i am a non smoker, but rather nice after the first few puffs....

now, I do enjoy some nice buttered rum tobacco in my sherlock holmsey pipe once in a while, so I didn't actually hack up or anything....

but that wasn't enough of an experience... I decided to play dress up and look at myself in the mirror with a cigar... SO i put on one of my nice shirts, slicked back my hair(my regular style mind you) and put on my sunglasses. Man! I looked like a really hot Bawler :) like i was getting ready to fit gino tardinelli with a pair of cement shoes:)

then, when i was all done and over my "made man" stage, stubbed out the cigar, and put the rest in the freezer to enjoy at a later date... but the awesome smell lingered on... WOW! like the smell of smoked pork... but sweeter... I tell you, next time a redheaded female co-worker goes to cuba, get em to bring you back a cigar... you'll thank me!

toodles chicklets!

when I am 93

2005-04-15T01:37:00.000-06:00

When I am 93, I shall have a pony tail.
now there will be no hair elsewhere on my head, except protruding from my ears and nose, but my pony tail will rival that of Samson.

When I am 93, I shall be bitter.
and not bitter for any real reason, nor directed at anyone, I will just grumble as i pass you and shake my head randomly when confronted.

When I am 93, I shall need to call all of my utilities.
I will then ask the phone rep to A)read me my bill, B) explain it to me, C)argue with what they have explained to me. Whether i understand what they have said or not, I still will argue.

When I am 93, I shall own a 1980's Black Pontiac Trans Am.
I always wanted to talk to my car, so having one that talks back to me, whether it be in my mind or through the fancy voice modulator in the dashboard is of no concern.

When I am 93, I shall date a 81 year old.
Mainly for the reason that now that i am 29, I cannot date a 17 year old.

good night
http://www.datefreak.com

what can i write like at 1:27am

2005-04-15T01:28:00.000-06:00

well, here i am playing yahoo crib against people i don't know... and i am naked.

wierd...? sure, but quite confortable, and very quick if i need a bathroom break.

I need presents.

I really wish people, for no reason, would just give me stuff. I mean, really, I am a nice guy, Karma knows that I am generally a good person... so when do i get my come-uppins?

Karma Points:
I wait for the traffic lights, regardless of witnesses.
I never litter.
I always count my change before i leave the store.
everytime the CHOCOLATE MILK! machine gives me extra CHOCOLATE MILK! I pay the vending machine guy when i see him.
I smile at people and say "hi" when I pass them
When i get an old lady on the phone, I always let her ramble about her knitting/son/stories.

so that should equal out to about 1 gift every two weeks.

i'll let you know where i am registered.

www.datefreak.com

An open letter to the homeless.

2005-04-11T20:37:00.000-06:00

Dear dreggs of society:

My name is Mike. I have a good paying job, albeit hellious at times, beats slugging boxes.

Sometimes, I feel you think the world owes you. This is not true. the world owes no one anything. I was never "given" anything in life... I fought my way up from well below the poverty line growing up, through living off of welfare for a year, into the man i am now... how? well not by sitting on the street and asking people if they could give me something, but by working my ass off to make something of myself... to be achieve more than my programming.

I grew up poor. there is no hiding the fact that I am still whitetrash, and I admit that I am lowbrow. I like watching Bumfights online, I love looking at porn, I enjoy tasteless racist jokes, and i scratch my balls at every opportunity... however, I am someone.

sitting on the street on my way to work is not a place that anyone should be... I will often walk right past you, and if you feel so bold as to speak to me, I will
A)ignore you and walk past,
B) tell you to fuck off
C) Kick you(one day.... one day)

rude? yes maybe... but so is your asking me for change... change that i WORK hard for. Now i'm not so high and mighty, that if i am approached by someone, thinks automatically "why the fuck don't you just get a job?" I know people have issues... I know what it is like to be out of work, *I* have been out of work, hell for a year almost I was supported by others... and luckily enough, I had those others.

... some aren't that lucky.

however, Begging, however Lucrative, is not the answer. there are plenty of things out there for people.
Soup kitchens, Churches, Suicide, Poaching for food, bottle collecting and of course busking.

hell, I know a guy who, whenever he needed cash, would go spend a few hours playing music on the street corner, and was able to satisfy whatever monitary need was present at the time.

alls i'm saying, is do something. Even if you can't get a 9-5, work for it... i mean really, how hard would it be to outsmart a gorrilla and sell it's hands? or learn to play an insturment...?

In closing, i can pretty much say whatever, seeing as you bums'll never read this anyways... so leave me the fuck alone, Let me buy my McDonalds cheeseburger and nuggets and let me walk past you without this guilty feeling.

good day.

new flavour sensation.

2005-04-07T21:11:00.000-06:00

yesterday, i spoke to you about my fascination with the vending machine, tonite, i want to talk to you about my love for the spice aisle.

I *love* dehydrated onions.

I eat these things like they are chips... sure sure, mock if you will, but they taste awesome, they get stuck in my teeth so i can taste em for a while, pick em out later and have a new oniony treat....

I need a dehydrator.

...wonder what would happen with a watermelon in a dehydrator....?

the vending machine.

2005-04-06T21:03:00.000-06:00

we have a few vending machines at work, they used to be filled with mainly crap and other crap... sure i could satisfy my urges for turkish delight... but those occasions are quite rare.

we had this meeting a while back, where we brainstormed for ideas.... i thought this a perfect arena to say feed us better... so i did...

and they did!

now instead of all the teeth rotting things that were in there, they have added Tylenol, for those headachey times (too bad i built up an immunity for being so stubborn a few years back where i suffered for about 2 years with impacted wisdom teeth and would not see a dentist, but it's a start!) Danishes, Sports bars, Fruit and CHOCOLATE MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as well as teeth rotting crap...

I capitialized CHOCOLATE MILK because CHOCOLATE MILK is my one, most favorite thing!
.... too bad it has been out for a few days on th CHOCOLATE MILK side.... meh, strawberry'll do me fine.

so anyways, I have been teased by this vending machine for the past few days... I love cherry cheese danish's and everytime i go there... there is a stupid apple one in front and the cherry cheese behind... taunting and whisering to me like a beautiful girl who is flirting with me just outside of her big muscular boyfriends view... but today, she was alone...

I walked up, smiling, gave her a sweet sweet nod and said, hey... I have a dollar fifty.... what say you and me go back to my desk, and i'll eat you like you've never been eaten before... easily, she agreed... i took her back to my desk, smiling all the way, because i knew, very soon, that i would have that sweet prize all to myself....

it was awesome.... i can still taste her in my mustache... i don't think i'll wash... i wanna sleep with that memory.... I may not have it again...

all sticky...
www.datefreak.com

tell me why.

2005-04-05T23:37:00.000-06:00

why is it that people will treat you like a moron without ever giving you the benefit of the doubt?

I believe myself to be quite competant at what i do.

this lady (used as a reference to her being femal, not to her being in any way worthy of a nice term...) calls me and starts right off with "why did you fuck up my bill?" fine... i can take a bit of trailer trash shitspeak, so i let it slide... "I called last month, because you fucked it up before, and some retard said they fixed it..." again... she's obviously upset.... as i try to speak with her, she interupts every sentence... "well lets see wh..." "lets not see and you fix it..." "ok, well first i need to get some more inf..." no... what you need is to stop being a moron and fix the problem." "Alright, now listen, i can't help you if you don't let me talk." LOUDLY over her trying to interupt me... "look fine, obviously you are incompetant, give me a supervisor" to which i politely said "thank you have a great day!"*click*"

do people think that when they are awful they get their way?

do i go to 7/11 and yell at the clerk who is behind the counter so i can get him to take my money for a slurpee?

do i go to a bank and call them morons because i need to exchange foreign funds?

NO

I wonder if this lady realised that i do have her information in front of me... and i could, in theory, call and report her to the police for harrassement...?

perhaps she thought i was too incompetant to be able to read what came up on my screen...

geeks a plenty

2005-04-03T00:14:00.000-07:00

so tonight was one of our D&D nights.... fun and very unproductive as usual....

our Battlefant, which is a hollowed out elephant carcass that we bone crafted into a vehicle, covered in armour from different creatures, affixed tentacles from the front of like a catfishs whiskers, have a battle pagoda on the top of, enter through the assfolds, and fly around with a levitation spell was becoming too much of a hinderance, so we parked it and hiked on foot to our next battle...

as if this wasn't exciting enough, we decided to try playing yatzee with different dice... i rolled a yatzee on the first try with d6s, that wasn't enough... so then Larry... here on out to be known as "Diceman", after around 1-4 hours of trying, got 5 17's in 2 rolls on d20's.

whatre the odds? your must be thinking ....

well it works out that it is only somewhere amidst 1 in 53,000 ish.... in getting 5 of the same numbers within 3 rolls.... NEAT!.

that part pretty much consumed most of our nite....

don't forget to set your clocks ahead!

www.datefreak.com

stupid people get yer own seat!

2005-03-31T20:43:00.000-07:00

so i get an extra shift at work today cus i have like 80 hours for the whole month(good thing i get paid alot an hour!) and i comes in to some yahoo sitting at my desk!

now it is a "campus" shared area, understandable... but I am a special kinda guy who is supposed to have my own kinda desk... i need specific things on my system to do my required job... fine, i smile, make my disaproval very known(as politely as i can be without shoving the guy!)... and pick a new desk..

newdesk if fucking hot! and not in the good sense like that babe walking down the street in a spandex miniskirt.... like in all those MC hammer vids.... but hot as in the temperaturical sense... Now I require 19 degrees celsius... +1 degree too hot and i get headachey... -1 and i get sore nipple because i buy shirts to fit my belly, not my chest and they like to chaffe me... ack!

then he leaves at like 6:30... so i swoop in and sit in *my* desk, and i find under my desk... HIS FUCKING BAG! so i am assuming he thinks he's getting it again tommorow.... GUESS AGAIN HOLEYO! i start at 3:15pm... i'm going in at 7:00, logging into my pc, Locking the fucker and going to sleep.

HAH! stupid peoples kids...

heh!

2005-03-30T21:27:00.000-07:00

people are dumb.....

I worked late today, so during the day i am home alone with my door locked and no pants on.... so i gets a knock on the door.... it's my Post lady... and she brought me my wireless network adapter... COOL!

i did put on pants before i answered the door...

so i plug it in to my front USB connection, and (eventually) i get it to work...

14 different unprotected wireless networks come up...

mine doesn't... fuck

oh well, funny how when you bridge 14 different wireless networks and your own 2.5 wired connection together, you get a crap load of a speed increase....

too bad it's different all the time...

busy day in the corporate world...

2005-03-30T21:17:00.000-07:00

so... i am an underling... this is new to me... I come from a background of fast movement into management... i'm not really used to sitting back having someone say "do this" "do that" "change your underwear".

I come from a world of tyrrany and evility... and usually I was the despot ruler! Oh my hirelings knew that when they were around me, verily shouldst they cover their balls.

now as tyranical as i was, my people liked me... hell, i am actually friends with some of them.

corporate world is different... a boss can't go around making lude remarks to his female staff, nor can he toss things visciously toward the groin of his male workers... no, a corporate boss must have a smile and be supportive and positive... "Pump it up buddy!" "way to go! Smash those sales targets!" YUCK!

Sadly, today, I found out that my current "pump it up yo!" guy is leaving... now, yes he was one of them, but on a personal level, I really liked him... and, it was thanks to him that I got alot of the things that i did out of this company... and as a final gift... he helped me get into a developing leaders program... so that I too may be a "win one for the gipper team!" guy.

Good luck G... thanks for the help, and be sure not to get in my way on my way up!

www.datefreak.com

all about my new computer.

2005-03-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

so, thanks to the joys of the canadian government and some lady falling down some beer soaked steps, I have a new computer...

tis as follows:
AMD 64 3000+
1024 megs ram (aka 1 gig)
260 gigs of running(ack) hard drive space
MSI geforce 6600gt 128mb video card (best card EVER!!!!)
Gigabyte GA-K8Ns Pro Mobo (1600mhz system bus!)
Pioneer DVD burner
lotsa of mis-matched colored lights
8 fans keeping it cold
no fricken game port.... although i do have an order in with memoryexpress and customized computers for the "optional" bracket.

neat.

www.datefreak.com

I'm all new now!

2005-03-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

good day... yes i know some of you are saying "but mike... you said you would never do this" and "why are you so damn sexy... you should hide in my closet so only i can have you" and "whats that smell?" yet, for some unknown reason, I am here.

so... what should i do in my first ever, super duper place to be part of the intergeek race? lets start with some introductions and infor-mation 'bout me.

likes:sex, boobies, fun, my new swanky computer, broadway shows, sunflowerseeds, gatorade, coke, picking my nose, biting my toenails, shiny stuff, my swords, Theresa Sokyrka, my chainmail, karaokeing as loud as i can without disturbing my neighbors, my morning coffee in my never washed cup(shut up it tastes good!), living alone, and gumballs.

hates:stupidity, peeing on my foot, unflavored anything, work(cept for a few cool things/people...) living alone(... but... I KNOW!), wearing clothes, people knocking on my door saying "keep it down...ack where are your pants???" hangnails(both toe and finger) and annoying people.

I am 29, "taken", I have a 6 year old son who is a mix of both fun and evil(*wink*), I work for a huge corporation, I like to roleplay, i am balding, i have baldspots on my chest and in my beard, I am well built with a bit of chubby tossed in for good measure, I have a pot belly that has recently decided to sprout stretch marks...

there you go... that is Mike!